


Dreamed Apology

by alesheepie



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alesheepie/pseuds/alesheepie
Summary: Makoto Naegi bears the weight of Sayaka's death on his shoulders, but a dream manages to give her a chance to apologize...
Kudos: 5





	Dreamed Apology

He fell asleep faster than he could imagine. After confirming that Sayaka's body had been disposed of, Makoto had no time to acknowledge Monokuma’s speed. Nothing was left behind; not even her smell, or a trace of blood, the outline of her body in the shower...

But in dreams, he saw the body, lying against the floor, a knife struck in her chest, a bloody message written behind her... Makoto still had all the proof of the class trial in his head, and while the trial was over, he couldn't dispose of it yet, not while it still mattered... Because he missed her, and because she had used him. He saw himself again, looking at the body, searching for more clues in vain, something else he had looked over on accident, something that showed that she cared. Makoto went over the scene again.

Her broken wrist, the golden mark on it, the blood on her fingertip, the message on the shower wall, the knife in her chest, her face, her expression, her position, her death, the smell of blood, the open shower, the unlocked door, the broken doorknob…

“Stop.”

Makoto looked around the room, and it stopped looking like clues. The bathroom was clean, without any trace of Sayaka. He was standing in the bathroom, before Sayaka got murdered, pristine clear, looking at the shiny white tiles.

"You know, I didn't get to praise you for keeping it this clean," a feminine voice behind him said. She reached for something in front of him.

He could see the signature white porcelain-looking hand taking the top of the toilet lid, which he hadn't noticed was raised, and brought it down carefully, to not make a sound. His eyes followed to the origin of the hand, until they found her. Sayaka Maizono, ex Ultimate Pop Sensation. Makoto felt tears filling up in his eyes.

"I guess you don't have many women at home, do you?" She giggled afterwards, and properly sat down on top of the closed toilet lid. The girl looked exactly how he remembered she did, and she gave him her signature smile, tilting her head to the side.

And suddenly, when he looked around him, they weren't in his bathroom anymore, but in the dining hall. She was sitting in front of him, like before she died... and yet, Makoto was filled with fear. After all, if she had succeeded, that smile could’ve cost everyone their lives. He trembled, in both fear and sadness, seeing Sayaka smile like this.

She dropped her smile, to a more neutral expression, before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Trust me this time, Makoto. I beg you."

Not only was she psychic, but she was in his dream. She knew what he was thinking. Makoto felt his head heavy, as it fell against the table, chin first. It didn’t hurt, but the sound of the hit echoed across the empty dining hall. Slowly, his arms crawled under his chin, to give him some support as he looked at Sayaka, then he let out a weary sigh.

"Why did you do it?” His voice sounded broken, trembling alongside his legs. “Your friends, your group..."

Sayaka's neutral expression dropped, to show sadness. Like when he promised to protect her, the one thing he shouldn't have said. She hesitated to reply to such a loaded and open question. It could mean anything, and she could answer with anything.

"I was desperate." Her answer was direct, as Sayaka leaned further from the table, resting her hands on the seat, nervously drumming her fingers against it. "Thinking back on it, though... There was nothing to be done. My friends, if they were dead... My dream was already over."

Makoto felt anger inside of him and rose from the table, hitting the dining hall table with his fists. "But why? Why did you decide to kill Leon?" There was silence in the room, except for the echoing sound of Makoto’s anger. Sayaka stared at Makoto for a moment, then lowered her gaze.

"Certainly, Kyoko told you already. I couldn't kill you." She put a hand against her arm, and rubbed it, nervous. "I... I had spoken to Leon before. He seemed like the type of guy who would come to a girl's room at midnight.”

"I don't want to hear that!" Sayaka didn't reply to that. Makoto stared at her for a moment, took a deep breath and dropped back on his seat, resting his chin on his own arms again. "I just... don't understand why you wanted to betray me. Why you wanted to kill me.”

"I didn't mean to." Sayaka looked at Makoto, a hand hovering over his hair... but she couldn't muster up the courage to ruffle it, or even to touch him. "I didn't know you'd all die. Neither did Leon."

Makoto's eyes widened, and slowly, he straightened his back and stared at Sayaka. His arms didn’t move, as they kept resting on top of the table "That's... true. Monokuma told us that rule when we discovered your body. We didn't know we'd hold an investigation and a trial, or that we would... die if he hadn't been found out."

Sayaka made a half-smile towards Makoto. He noticed the hand, and she slowly retrieved it. In a way, Makoto knew it'd help him if she had tried to make him feel better, but he didn't need it. Not right now.

"I thought... if you were framed for the murder I committed, eventually I'd 'graduate' and you'd be clean... Had I killed Leon, and found out about what would happen, I would've..." Sayaka stopped, as her gaze dropped yet again, a hand making its way to her mouth, index and middle fingers tapping nervously against her lips. Makoto picked up on it.

"You wouldn't have confessed."

Another silence, lingering in the room. There was no echo this time, but as Makoto realized the tension in the room, he realized how much it was weighing him down, almost pushing his head towards the table once more.

"You're right." Sayaka put both of her hands together, back under the table. "I had prepared a setting to blame you for the murder. By the time Monokuma would've told us about the class trial, everyone would already be suspecting you..."

"Then..." He put his hands to his sides, clinging to the seat. The emptiness of the dining hall made him feel nervous, moving around in his seat. "You would've killed everyone else... Hell, I saw my family there, and I didn't consider it. It had to be fake."

"It wasn't." Sayaka had a stern expression in her face, as she forced herself to look at Makoto. "My group... I didn't plan to stay for long after I finished high school in Hope's Peak. I wanted to become an idol by myself, team up with other Ultimates, become the Ultimate Idol Group... Call it narcissism, but without me, the group would eventually disband. I wasn't done yet, though. My dream hadn't been fulfilled yet."

Makoto’s head gave way again, as it fell on its forehead. He let out a desperate sigh, as he moved both of his hands to his head, scratching it quite roughly.

"I'm sorry, Makoto. For everything." She offered him an apologetic bow.

"Stop."

Slowly, Sayaka rose from her bow, worried. Her legs beneath the table were trembling. Makoto stopped scratching his head, his hair ruffled, took a deep breath, and rose. He felt the tears falling from his eyes, as he stared at his friend.

"It's... it's not your fault. You gave us the clue to find out it was Leon. Thanks to you, we're all alive right now." He sniffed, and Sayaka dared to reach for his face, to clean a stray tear with her right thumb, gently pressed against his face, then she rested her entire right hand against his cheek, caressing him.

Sayaka suddenly rose from her seat, walked around the table, and sat down next to Makoto. Finally, she dared to put a hand on the boy's hair, caressing it for a moment, before he leaned on her. Like before, Sayaka's intuition saw right through him, and she let go of his hair to put her right arm around him, pulling him into a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

"You don't mean that, Makoto." She spoke in such a gentle voice, like a mother to her child. Sayaka giggled, and it made Makoto's heart stop for a moment. "Even though you say that, you're thinking in how this could've been prevented if you had paid attention, right?"

He took a deep breath, between sobs, before he nodded. Sayaka began brushing her fingers against the side of his head.

"Well, I forgive you." She ran her fingers through his messy hair again, as she, too, leaned on him. He noticed Sayaka was crying because of the way she trembled. It took her a moment to continue talking. "In the end, I saved you, and that's what matters. I made it up to you."

She stopped caressing him, and he rose from his seat, cleaning his tears with the sleeves of his shirt. He was about to reply to what Sayaka said, but with a smile, Sayaka pointed at Makoto, poking him on the nose, interrupting his train of thought.

"All you have to do now is get out of here. Both of us."

"But you can't." Makoto felt sadness coming back to him. Sayaka moved a bit closer and put a hand against his right cheek caressing it once more with her thumb.

"You'll remember me, right?" She smiled, tilting her head to the side. "Then we'll both get out of here."

* * *

The following morning, Makoto rushed to write down his dream and left the note under Kyoko’s door. He waited outside her room, once he made sure she had gotten it. He went over his dream in his head once more, to try and remember the most of it as he could. It didn't take the silver-haired girl a lot more time to step outside and stare at him. She rose a finger against her lips, before she pointed at the laundry room.

Inside, Kyoko stepped forward, took out the letter, folded quite neatly, and ripped it apart in front of him. It happened in an instant, and Makoto reached for it, before Kyoko shook her head, turning completely towards him, blocking him from reaching it.

"A lot of people might start suspecting you if you're vocal about your desires to get out of here." She crossed her arms, her blank expression focused on him. Kyoko didn’t show remorse, and the only movement she did was move her head slightly, to adjust her braid.

"But... Sayaka said-"

"It's improbable that Sayaka spoke to you in dreams." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She seemed... disappointed, to say the least. "It's possible you were just dwelling on the event. It happened yesterday, after all."

Makoto couldn't reply to that, as he took a step back and his expression changed to one of confusion... slowly easing up, until he accepted that Kyoko was probably right. It was impossible that Sayaka spoke to him when she was already dead. This wasn’t some sort of miraculous event or ghost encounter.

"Did she, by any chance, leave any traces of her smell in your bed?" Sayaka put a hand against her chin. "It's possible that her smell made you remember her, thus provoking such a dream. You might want to wash the smell away."

"You don't understand!" he said. Kyoko looked unmoved by the gesture. Makoto leaned forward. "She... she spoke to me! She apologized! She said she didn't want to-"

Kyoko interrupted him by raising a hand. Her eyes were focused entirely on him. The room felt so empty, even with the two of them, and he slowly calmed down. He could feel his own breathing, heavy.

"Perhaps it is just what you wanted her to tell you, that she didn't mean to, that she wants you to remember her." Kyoko's arms fell to her sides, and her eyebrows dropped to the sides of her face, concerned. She didn't approach him, though, and other than her facial expression, nothing in her body made this feeling clear.

"Is it so wrong, though?" Makoto looked to the side. "I want... to believe in her, that she just didn't know. That she didn't mean to endanger all of us."

"She didn't mean to endanger you." Kyoko closed her eyes, and a small smile appeared on her face. "Had she had the chance to save you, and only you amongst everyone else, I doubt she would've refused the option." Makoto felt his eyes swell up with tears at that remark. If he had truly talked to Sayaka, Kyoko might've been right... "Or..."

Makoto turned to her. She had a relaxed expression, a more confident smile in her face. His mouth opened, even when Kyoko hadn't spoken yet.

"Perhaps the one who needs to forgive you... is yourself, and your dream with Sayaka was a means to do so." Her eyes opened again, and focused on him, still smiling. "If you don't forgive yourself for her and Leon's deaths, then you truly won't be able to forget her dying body, the way she looked... And you won't remember the true, kind words she spoke to you when you met again, back when all of this started."

He seemed concerned at what Kyoko said, and his gaze dropped. "But it was all a lie... She was just playing with my feelings."

Kyoko shook her head, as she walked by Makoto. She didn't look at him when she left with the following words:

"If she had been playing with you, would she have spoken to you after watching the video?"

He didn't catch if the girl was still smiling, but he felt much more relaxed at that idea. The monitors turned on, as Monokuma appeared sitting down in his signature room. It was now 7 am.


End file.
